Nine Years Ago

Nine years ago I was begging a nurse for a cracker.  We had gone to the Dr, I was 2 days past my due date, and we were going to have dinner afterwards.  My water broke after the appointment—-and you know how in movies it gushes out and that’s all?  THAT’S A LIE!  It’s more like peeing your pants with no idea when it will end.

10400115_71369383915_7355125_n

We went straight to the hospital. In hindsight we both said we should’ve hit a drive thru first.  I was sooooooo hungry and they wouldn’t let me eat.  Finally a nurse gave me a few crackers which I promptly barfed up because I was on a meds drip.  For hours I was just waiting for the pitocin to do it’s work, but then the heartbeat would get erratic with each contraction.  At this point I decided I was NOT a granola mama, and I needed drugs ASAP.  It took forever for the anesthetist to arrive, and when he did….it was NOT everything I had dreamed of and more.  In fact, it took this Aussie dipshit multiple attempts to get my epidural in and did I mention how bad the contractions were?  “Stay still, Mrs.Etkin, or I’ll have to start over again.”  AYFKM? You try staying still during a contraction that not only hurts, but freaks you out as you hear your baby’s heartbeat slow down!  FTR–when my daughter was born via c-section a few years later I did make the anesthetist speak a sentence before entering the room to make sure he didn’t have the Australian accent.

10400115_71369418915_6132048_n

So I have the epidural, the hubs is dressed like a space man, they roll me into the OR.  I promptly have a panic attack because my mouth was so dry I thought I was going to suffocate.  That was the first time I ever had Xanax.  We’ve been BFF’s ever since.

10400115_71369798915_3133693_n

There were some hiccups—he came out with the cord twice around his neck, so my emergency c-section saved his life.  He spent a night in NICU because his blood sugar was so low when he was born(we REALLY should’ve hit Wendy’s before the hospital).

10400115_72228318915_2821278_n

I’m sure there is more to his birth story that I have forgotten…but you get the gist of the story. The fact that he did not ruin my vajayjay doesn’t change anything–he has always been a difficult child so his birth story just adds facts to that statement.  The last nine years have been exceptionally challenging and utterly amazeballs. Here are just a few of my favorite pictures of my little Monster.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: