I want to live a life without apology. I should not have to explain the things that make me happy to anyone. The most amazing things in life happen when you are brave for just 20seconds. You do the thing that needs to be done, the thing that you never thought you could do but you know you’ll die inside if you don’t. It’s hard–to say the words, make the call, take the jump. But I think it’s harder to live without ever trying. I have said it before and I will continue to say, when it comes to anything I do, failure is never an option–I either get what I want, or I learn from the experience. It doesn’t mean it was a bad choice in the first place. I never think of it as failure, but rather sorting thru the ways that didn’t work to find the one way that does.
Today I had a conversation that exemplified this. I was saying that since I have all these awesome work clothes–because I am a clearance shopper so I was buying for the next season then my shift changed, so now I have all these clothes, half with the tags will on—I want to have a sort of open house for the ladies I know who would be interested. I’m downsizing, so if I can get rid of some of this stuff and get some dough, hurrah!!! The response I got was “That sounds uncomfortable”. Once again I can see so clearly how my work to change my thinking is really paying off—because that wasn’t my first reaction. My thoughts went in this order:
- a reason to have my friends over!
- we can drink wine and try on clothes!
- maybe I’ll unload some stuff, but if not, we’ll still have fun!
Yeah, that was pretty much my entire thought process. Yes, I’m always looking for ways to make money and with this new urge to purge it’s going to NEXT LEVEL SHIT, but the thought that is would be unsuccessful never crossed my mind.
It sounds so silly and simple to say I require a better attitude from those in my life, but the older I get the less I am willing to compromise on who I am and what I want. And yes, I want to be surrounded by positivity and possibility. It’s exhausting to spend time thinking about the things that can go wrong. My anxiety could probably shoot out a list of 10 reasons why I shouldn’t have a Dress Sale, but I don’t listen to her anymore–that bitch is cray cray. Looking at the world with a filter of limitless possibility is one of the most joyful and creative experiences. It’s not even a question of if the glass is half-full or empty—-because I’m just thankful that I have the glass to begin with!