Dictionary

I have used many words in my life.  Not that I’ve counted, but I’m a pretty smart lady who is well read.  Reason and Justification are basically the same word.  I double checked, and personally I feel that if each word uses the other in the definition, then they are interchangeable except when they aren’t.

Huh?

If I tell you my reasons for doing something, I’m ok with it in my heart.

If I tell you my justifications for doing something, then I know I’m not exactly right so I have to dig up something to proffer as to my intent.

I never think that my reasons are justifications.  I don’t justify my life to anybody.   I am who I am because of the experiences in my life, and I really love the woman I have become even if it was a rocky road from time to time getting there.  I know that from the outside my life looks, IMHO, pretty damn good.  Like I have my shit together. Like I know what I’m doing.  For the record, I do not have my shit together and I have no idea what I’m doing.

I don’t know which parent made me so brave, which person I admired, which grandparent…I don’t know how I learned it, it’s just always been there.  The desire to leave, to go new places, meet new people, start new things—it never occurs to me that I may fail.  Do you know why?  Because if it does, THAT IS TOTALLY FINE.  There are plenty of times that I make a plan and it all goes wrong and I have to figure out a new way to make it work.  Sometimes, it ends up better than my original plan.

It will all be okay in the end.  If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.  –John Lennon

I will say that age has made me a bit more reserved,  more likely to actually DO the research instead of just jumping in with no clue.  I make my decisions with an informed mind, and with the best interests of my kiddos in the front of my mind.

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