Sometimes

Sometimes the only thing better than completing a project is accepting that it will never come to fruition the way you want it to. You can baby it, do everything in your power to will it into existence, and it just won’t happen. Hell, it’s not JUST projects, sometimes it’s reality.

I’ve been cleaning. Since, like, March. It’s a process and I have ADHD so I am literally going through every single thing I own. Every. Thing. And let’s not forget BVN passed last year so I have her treasures. And all the things I have inherited or acquired. It’s a lot of stuff. Going through it, how can I not equally sift through my emotional life as well?

As I start my 43rd trip around the sun I spend much time thinking, on a daily basis, how lucky I am. That daily gratitude has changed me. Every day I have the choice to be a miserable cow, or I can be thankful for the kids who make me laugh SO much, or the plants that grow twice as fast because I love them so hard, or the people in my life who keep me honest and make me want to be better.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not just full of joy as I clean….Marie Kondo I am not. I spend a lot of time berating myself—asking why do I have to hold on to everything? Why can’t I let go? What am I afraid of losing? How is it serving me to hold on to *whatever*?

The best part is I don’t have to have all the answers. Not right now. (That a tough statement for a Capricorn btw…).

Today I am simply thankful for another 3 bags of garbage and a bunch of acceptance about things that were never my fault to begin with.

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