Today’s topic is “A Difficult Time In My Life”
I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure what to do with this one.
I could talk about the time that I cheated in Third grade on a math quiz and wasn’t able to go to the rollerskating rink for like a month…..that was a very difficult time in my life.
I could talk about how my mom would actually sniff me to see if I was wearing deodorant. I shit you not, 75% of the time before I left the house I was told to go up and put on more deodorant because I stank. That would be considered a difficult time in my life. And if you are wondering: Yes, I do have a complex about having BO. I’m not a professional, but if I had to guess I would say that part of what draws me to friendships with men are that they are (generally speaking) smelly and gross so in those friendships I can relax and not freak out that I stink.
I could talk about my friend Martha, who killed herself 5yrs ago–altho I think I will shelve that for it’s own special soapbox.
I think I’ll talk about now. Today. This is a difficult time in my life. A milestone birthday makes one reassess where you have set the bar on your life. Am I where I thought I would be? Am I WHO I thought I would be? Am I doing my best to bring out happiness and joy in others? Am I surrounded by people who bring out the best in me? Am I pursuing my passions, in all the different shapes they take?
What happens when you realize that there is a significant difference in the bar that has been set and where the bar actually IS in certain aspects of your life? Eli’s Coming, that’s what. If you ever watched a little show called Sports Night, you understand what I mean by that. In my language, it means that things are going to get tough–that the lazy boring days are done for a bit. This is when the water gets rocky in all aspects of my life. Choices will be made that will shape my life and the lives of people closest to me. It means that I’ve coasted for a really long time and while it was hella fun, it’s time to do some work. Make the goals, cut them into manageable chunks, kick ass, repeat. Trim the fat, hit the bar–raise the bar, and keep raising it until the job is done. This is a difficult time, but this too shall pass–I was not made to be such a strong woman for nothing.