It finally happened. My mouth got me thrown in the facebook slammer. I have no regrets, it was a GREAT comment. I’d tell you what it was, but I don’t want my account locked indefinitely! Sometimes it takes something small for big change–and since I couldn’t scroll and comment, I decided to take down Christmas. Which made me want to reorganize and get rid of some stuff. And now I am thinking I might as well paint since everything is off the walls….This is how my neurodivergent brain works. I start one project and it spirals until everything is pretty again.
I have been doing a lot of research about neurodivergence and how my brain works. Obviously I had gone down that rabbit hole previously since I was diagnosed wayyyyyy back in 2004, but there is so much new information! My mind is constantly blown! I have spent years thinking that *I* was wrong, broken and just not normal and you know what? I’m NOT normal and that is totally cool. Especially now that I’m finding the tools to handle it as I get older. That’s one thing that you didn’t hear much, that, for women, adhd and other neurodivergence can get worse with age. This really has helped me process the last few years when I felt like I was truly losing it. You know what else helps? Talking about it. Letting it have space in my life. Being kind to myself when I just don’t have the spoons to do a damn thing because I spent the weekend hyperfocused on a project for 7hrs/day. This isn’t to say that I don’t still force myself past my comfort zone–I just don’t wear it like a badge of honor anymore. I’m accepting that I can love doing projects and love having a lazy day equally without beating myself up for being a lazy bum.
The moral of this story is that I am working on it. All of it. But I’ll always have a dirty mouth.